Be bad. Be very bad.
A vintage icebox, its smooth, white finish chipped in places, is the first thing that catches the eye at La Lechería, an artisanal dairy and specialty food shop in Carmelo, Uruguay. A ceiling fan whirs languorously over the refrigerated display case. Inside, classic milk bottles are lined in neat rows next to glass jars of farm-fresh goat cheese. If it weren’t for the sales clerk’s uber-modern t-shirt and hipster eyeglass frames, you would swear this was Uruguay, circa 1918.
The whitewashed wooden floors, white counters, white walls and primarily white product packaging make La Lechería feel like a wholesome version of the infamous Milk Bar in “A Clockwork Orange.” But don’t let the pristine, innocent vibe fool you, because here’s where things get sinfully sordid. The ice cream. Let’s just say a sign should be posted on the front door: “Shed healthy eating habits before entering.”
Go ahead—be bad. Be brazenly bad and dive into two generous scoops of house-made ice cream, crafted with the richest milk you’ll ever taste outside of Switzerland. And the flavors are sublime in their simplicity: chocolate, strawberry, coconut, dulce de leche, peach.
If the ice cream only adds fuel to your wicked streak, sin again with pastries so enticing they take the concept of ‘food porn’ to a whole new level. We’re talking decadent fruit topping on a flaky, buttery crust. And the seemingly harmless little shortbread cookies peeking out of filmy white wrappers? There’s no turning back after that first bite.
For those of you with saltier palates, La Lechería offers a few locally produced goat or cow’s milk cheeses. In addition to the cubed goat cheese in a jar, wheels and wedges of Parmesan-style cheese tantalize from behind the glass case, a veritable foodie red-light district. The cheese selection is on the lean side, but the prices are reasonable compared to artisanal cheeses in the U.S. A generous slab of Parmesan-style cheese runs $6, a jar of goat cheese, $3.
Once you’ve satisfied your cravings and condemned yourself to 100 more years in Diet Purgatory, you collapse, exhausted, on the front bumper of a vintage Model-T parked outside the store. You dreamily brush fluffy pastry crumbs off your chin, the afterglow of another gastronomic transgression still warm in your belly. La Lechería, located in the Carmelo Yacht Club, Carmelo, Uruguay.
What $10 Buys: Two glass jars of artisanal sweetened yogurt, one jar of house-made fig jam, two raspberry tarts.
